Saturday, January 31, 2009

I Want You All To Know...

that you should be very proud of me. I am staying in, on a Saturday, and doing homework, while all of my friends are at the bar. This is a monumental night for me. I tell everyone that Saturday is a day to rest and relax and not do homework. However, by Monday, I have to write a first draft and an alternate first draft (topic of interest, research question, hypothesis, preliminary lit review) for Research methods, clean my room, brief Milligan Ex Parte, and vet a Supreme Court candidate. Milligan and the Supreme Court thing aren't due until Tuesday, however, my group is meeting Monday night, and I don't want to let them (i.e. Jeremy) down. I also feel like I'm getting sick, so I want to get things done so I can relax tomorrow. So yeah, Kayleigh, Emily, and Shazib are all at the Sand Dollar, and I'm here. But the thing is I actually kind of hate the Sand Dollar. Dancing+Rap and Hip Hop+Sketchy townies=not really my thing, so as much as I love them and miss them, it kind of works out. If they were going somewhere I wanted to go, I would have gone, and thus, not been as productive.

The whisper is that Blake has had a bunch of auditions in the last few weeks. Good for him. I'm anxiously awaiting what his future holds.

Last night I...




Played some pool. Terribly.


Judged Emily when she spilled her drink all over MacKenzie's after telling me I should probably get a lid because I needed one.



Chilled with Mark Twain...




And Hillary Clinton.


Attempted to renew my vows with Kayleigh, but couldn't get through it without laughing. I feel as though this picture basically summarizes our friendship and our lives.


And drank some margaritas.


And the night ended with an email exchange with one of my favorite professors.
Only at schools like Elmira do you email your professors about music at 2:30 in the morning on a Friday night.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Good Times at Convo. LOL.

So Convocation slowly sapped my will to live. I don't care what anyone's extra-curricular activities are. Do we need to spend 5 hours reading them? We do? Awesome. But hey, I got an epic medal (jealous? Jeremy is. Underclassmen get certificates...suckers), and it provided an excellent photo op with our favorite professor.


Person who shall remain nameless: I GOT A PICTURE WITH DR. TWOMBLY!
Jeremy: We got one first. We're better.
I want to be like this man when I grow up. Only not a man. And I hope to dress better. Yesterday the combo of gray pants and a gray shirt made him look like an elephant. And also, Jeremy told me that when we're professors (pre-presidents and Supreme Court justices, obviously) he would like academic regalia just like Dr. Twombly's. I told him he was in luck, since we'll all have the same degree.


And yeah, my future co-world ruler.

Uhhhh...

I have decided that I am no longer going to speak in contractions. With the exception of one-'twas. This is because 'twas is the best contraction ever, and will effectively make me sound like a bag of douche when I speak. Perfect.

Also, I REALLY miss my nephews. They also make life better when life is not so good.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

It gets a little better every day, I guess.

I mean, today I bought a new coloring book. This is what happened as a result...
heatherj8987 (12:55:24 AM): this my little pony coloring book is the most lulzy thing i've ever seen in my entire life
hurricaneemly (12:55:58 AM): yeah, i kinda figured it would be
heatherj8987 (12:56:01 AM): like, there is a horse in it named tool-a rool-a
hurricaneemly (12:56:09 AM): hahahahahahaha
heatherj8987 (12:56:09 AM): love that skank.
hurricaneemly (12:56:23 AM): i literally just laughed way the fuck out loud
heatherj8987 (12:56:28 AM): so did me and kayleigh

I've decided to make one outlandish statement a day. Today, Emily and I were discussing taking rides on the failboat, and how the Titanic is the Epic Failboat, and I said "I'm glad the Mayflower wasn't the Epic Failboat. The course of the world would be entirely different," to which Emily responded "profound!" I know! Just think about it.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My lucky day.


Ladies and gentleskanks, it is here.

At precisely 5:30ish this evening, I will be driving out to Best Buy and purchasing this CD, and then I will spend the rest of my night glued to my ipod, listening to it. I mean, I could buy it on iTunes right now, but I would much prefer to have it in my possession so I can read the liner notes fifty million times for the next sixty years of my life, until I have all of the lyrics memorized.

I kind of think Bruce Springsteen is god. I mean, other than campaigning for douchebag politicians, the man can do no wrong. And honestly, I campaign for douchebag politicians too (coughrandykuhlcough), so I guess none of us are perfect, though Bruce and I pretty damn close.

Tickets go on sale next week. Obviously, the dates and locations suck, but I WILL see him again, so it looks like a drive to Albany might be necessary, since that is about as close as he is coming. I mean, he'll be in Boston and Providence, but obviously the dates are made of fail and are in the middle of the week when I will be out here.

Yeah, looking at times and dates...I think Albany it is. It's on a Thursday night during Term III. That might work. Now I just need company...

Happy listening, dear readers.

Insane and rising in my own weird way

Gonna sleep away
All my sunny days
In another year
Well I won't be here
Wasting all my time
Hoping that you'll change your mind

Oh, Bruce Springsteen? Playing in Boston two days after I am home is completely unacceptable. Please post the rest of your tour dates and put me out of my misery. Looking forward to buying your CD tomorrow, skank :-)

I informed roommate tonight that I will make one outlandish statement every day. Today I decided to use the word skank more often, only in a complimentary way. We'll see what comes up tomorrow.

That being said, good night, skanks!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Must Get Back to London.

I've missed London every day since I left. However, with the closing of Spring Awakening in New York, and the subsequent OPENING of Spring Awakening: London on January 23rd, the need to go back has increased drastically. Some of you might be saying "But Heather, you've seen Spring Awakening 5 times! Is it really necessary to fly across the ocean to see you show you have already seen? I can assure you, it is. And to prove this point, I will use a visual aid.

This is Jamie Blackley, currently playing Hanschen in London. Basically, Jamie Blackley is beautiful. He will always take a backseat to Blake, despite the fact that he has a British accent that is to die for, for a plethora of reasons, including but not limited to: 1. Jamie is gorgeous, but Blake is still better. 2. I've met Blake. He's very cuddly. Jamie doesn't strike me as cuddly. 3. There is also one major issue: Jamie Blackley, this god among men (or boys) is only 16. That is unacceptable. Blake is younger than me, but 19/21 is a lot different than 16/21.

Anyway, I had to share the joy, and now I need to get my ass kicked by statistics.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Oh, Hot Damn...

tastes amazing. Best night of my life.



This is my best friend. It is her birthday, and she is better than you. I love her, and she is my soulmate, musical and otherwise.


This is Shazib. He drives us around. He threatens to marry us, then kill us and take our dowries. Fortunately, I don't have one. This is what happens when you hang out with terrorists.



This is Emily, maybe. It is also a failure.


This is me, Emily and Kayleigh. It was towards the end of the night.


This is basically hysterical.


This is Lauren. She makes my life better by being a total bitch when I need a bitch in my life, and I love it. I'm not sure who else is in this picture, or why he is in this picture, but hey, it was Saturday night at the Branch. We're all friends here. Until he pushes Kayleigh. Then it becomes an issue.


This is how we crush heads.

And this is the worst decision I made. Not because it's untrue, because it is and I feel that alcohol is a truth serum and I meant every word, but because typically, writing on people's facebook walls in those conditions is usually a bad idea.

Friday, January 23, 2009

There's Blood In My Mouth Cuz I've Biting My Tongue All Week.


This can never, ever be me.
So yeah. I'm doing okay. I'm keeping my chin up and acting normal and continuing to make him laugh and sending him witty facebook messages, which will be important when he realizes this girl has absolutely no personality. And I saw them together today and it was impossible for me to avoid them, and he smiled and waved and I smiled back and said "GILLIBRAND!" And he said "I KNOW!!!!!!!!" And it was fine. Although last night I saw them at dinner and the only table open in the dining hall was the one right next to there's, so I sat with my back to them and made faces at Jamie the whole time. Of course, Jamie then goes "we need to talk later, about him." And I was like "no, we don't. Do you honestly think I don't know?" She drives me insane. And Kayleigh and I were talking at lunch today about how Glenn Fleshler should play Wendla in SA, and she was like "that would just be so awkward." I mean, I don't see what is so awkward about this...


Clearly, Glenn was born for that role.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Okay, so nothing's changed-heard that before.

I really do hate everything, at least for now. I hate you for leading me on. I hate myself more for falling for it. I hate the fact that I have to see you at least three times a week, and I hate the fact that I have to talk to you, because really I would like to just ignore this whole situation entirely, but seeing you everywhere isn't going to help. And I know you're going to act completely normal, because whenever anything remotely different happens between us, you always do the next day. As long as she isn't with you, I might be okay.

I just can't look, it's killing me.

I hate the fact that this morning, I had every intention of waking up and making myself look cute. That failed. I managed to get up and get into the shower, which is an accomplishment, but now I'm sitting here on my computer in a towel with dripping hair, blogging about how much you're making me hate absolutely everything, including school in general right now. The silver lining? Graduation never looked so good. There are cute boys in NYC. I met one this weekend. In my drunken haze, he made me forget about you for precisely 5 minutes.

I had every intention of keeping my chin up today and not acting defeated. I don't think that will happen, either. I have a feeling it's one of those hiding in my hooded sweatshirt type of days. I feel physically sick, and if I didn't respect my professors, I would blow off class this morning. Did I mention I slept for three hours?

"By the time you finally wake up, I'll be lying on some trash heap."
Alright, that was a little too dramatic, but SA has been on my mind all week (still don't want to go there). But by the time you finally wake up, I'll have graduated and will be long gone. But you know what? I'll be okay, and it's your loss. You're not really my type, anyway.

Blake Daniel, thanks for making your myspace public and friending your fans. I hate myspace, but once I have the chance to edit my profile a little bit, we are going to be friends. I see you're single and straight-that's a step up from this one. Much better than ambiguous and taken, that's for sure.

Fail. Naptime in four hours.

Why can't something work out for me, for once in my life?

I mean, it's not like we haven't been going through this for four years. Seriously.

Destined for spinsterdom.
Shit shit shit. Small campus.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I can lead a nation with a microphone.

10 minutes until the heavens open up with sunshine and rainbows.

My faith's been torn asunder
Tell me is that rolling thunder
Or just the sinking sound of something righteous going under?

Monday, January 19, 2009

Spring. Awakening.






Thanks for everything we did
Everything that's past,
Everything's that's over too fast.
None of it was wasted
All of it will last
Everything that's here and now and us together
It was marvelous to know you
And it isn't really through.
Crazy business this, this life we live in
Can't complain about the time we're given
With so little to be sure of in this world
We had a moment
A marvelous moment

Lots and lots and lots of tears in that theater last night. More blogging to come when my head is clear.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Can't. Effing. Deal.

In the interest of accentuating the positive as we embark on an unusually tension-inducing new year, why not focus on a single ray of sweetness amid the gloom: For those who love the theater, this month will be a bonanza of emotional farewells and festive goodbyes in front of adoring audiences.No, the audiences flocking to final performances are often friends and family involved with the cast and creative team, along with rabid fans who have seen the show at least once, in some cases dozens of times.Live theater has a built-in bittersweetness born of its ephemeral nature. The magic is here and now, and then it’s gone forever — or at least until the next revival. (And remember, enthusiasm for a revival is often met with a cluck-clucking sound and an indulgent smile from those who were around for the first production.) That’s why being present at the moment when a work of achieved art passes into history can be inordinately moving, a reminder that beauty itself is mostly an evanescent thing in life.But it’s almost always thrilling, too, because the energy level at a final performance is usually roof-raising. Long runs can be wearying to actors — even those who consume only sensible amounts of sushi, unlike that unfortunate, mercury-riddled Jeremy Piven — but the valedictory atmosphere of a show’s last weeks brings out the best in most. This year, as you watch the lights dim on a performance that has meant something to you, that has made something happen in your heart or your head, you may see the real human being through the mask of the fictional characters a little more vividly. The chorus kid with the megawatt smile, the all-but-legendary musical diva with a devoted following, the up-and-coming young leading man — when the curtain falls they will all return to being actors anxiously awaiting their next engagement, at a scarily perilous time for everybody. So keep clapping, please, and a “Bravo!” or two would surely be appreciated.

For once, New York Times, I love you.

When A-Holes Get Bored, pt. 2

This is the best facebook conversation, probably ever.


Edit
Heather is O HAI EMILY ;-). 10:46pm - Comment

Emily Harubin at 10:48pm January 15
WUT? o hai!

Heather Johnson at 10:49pm January 15
wut you lookin' at, foo'? Oh dear, we look lovely in our picturezzzzz.

Emily Harubin at 10:50pm January 15
ow, my back hurtz... cuz i'm old....wut? i wuz born in 1913. BITCH.

Heather Johnson at 10:53pm January 15
all we needz iz a crazy laydee...methinks i know where two can be found...

Emily Harubin at 10:54pm January 15
... wut?!

Heather Johnson at 10:56pm January 15
n i wuz born in 1913 too, but one monf aftah u, foo'!!!

Emily Harubin at 10:56pm January 15
damn gurl, itz hot in herrrrr

Heather Johnson at 10:57pm January 15
tengo un gato...en mis pantzzzzyeah, i went dere.

Emily Harubin at 10:57pm January 15
WUT?

Heather Johnson at 10:58pm January 15
Bring it, yo!

Emily Harubin at 10:59pm January 15
bitch, u cant handul what ill bring.

Heather Johnson at 11:02pm January 15
u bettah watch yoself.

Emily : WUT HETHUR? 10:49pm - Comment

Heather Johnson at 11:02pm January 15
wut?

Emily Harubin at 11:02pm January 15
wutz dat smellllll?

Heather Johnson at 11:03pm January 15
meow.

Emily Harubin at 11:03pm January 15
bitch pleeez.... im stilllll oldur than u!

Heather Johnson at 11:04pm January 15
by a monf, yo.

Emily Harubin at 11:05pm January 15
a monf iz oldur... im bettur

Heather Johnson at 11:07pm January 15
burrly.

Emily Harubin at 11:08pm January 15
o pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

Heather Johnson at 11:10pm January 15
bitch don't give me that shit.

Emily Harubin at 11:11pm January 15
wut?

Heather Johnson at 11:11pm January 15
wut?

Emily Harubin at 11:12pm January 15
i aksed furst

Heather Johnson at 11:13pm January 15
itz been 23 minz since dis all sturted. jus' sayin'.

Heather Johnson at 11:14pm January 15
whur is dis epic profile pic?

Emily Harubin at 11:50pm January 15
hethurrr, itz 4 latur

Emily Harubin at 11:50pm January 15
oooo, i get it! 23. werd

Heather Johnson at 11:50pm January 15
i has no patientz. i wantz to see it.

Emily Harubin at 11:51pm January 15
WUT?!

Heather Johnson at 11:52pm January 15
da picturezzzzzzzzzzz (singular, i just like the letter z)

Emily Harubin at 11:53pm January 15
i kno. lolz. but u will hav ta w8

Emily Harubin at 11:53pm January 15
itz butiful tho

Heather Johnson at 11:53pm January 15
maybe i don't wanna wait...for our livezzz to be ovah

Emily Harubin at 11:54pm January 15
oh dear.hethurrr, i iz old. wut r u sayin?

Heather Johnson at 11:55pm January 15
i wantz 2 no rite now when will dey be?

Emily Harubin at 11:56pm January 15
lolz. u r 2 funi

Heather Johnson at 12:02am January 16
iz u sayin i gotz da dumb?

Emily Harubin at 12:04am January 16
if thatz how u read itz

Heather Johnson at 12:06am January 16
u were totez sayin i gotz da dumb and i don't like it but rly i gotz da dumb from u cuz itz contagiouz

Emily Harubin at 12:07am January 16
hethurrr... u gotz da dum frum urselfz. rly. i meanz, WUT?

Heather Johnson at 12:11am January 16
that hurtz mah feelingz

Emily Harubin at 12:12am January 16
wutevz. u r 2 senzitiv

Heather Johnson at 12:14am January 16
ur cat iz 2 senzitiv

Emily Harubin at 12:15am January 16
mah cat iz a wundahful cat. itz pretti. itz luvli. itz wundahful.

Heather Johnson at 12:18am January 16
ok, i iz goin 2 bedz, and u iz goin to do ur homeworkz...

Emily Harubin at 12:19am January 16
nitez. thanx 4 showin me teh stursho

Thursday, January 15, 2009

No, thank you.

...All Americans are in this together. And together, with determination and hard work, we will restore our economy to the path of growth. We will show the world once again the resilience of America's free enterprise system.
Like all who have held this office before me, I have experienced setbacks and there are things I would do differently, if given the chance.
Yet, I've always acted with the best interests of our country in mind. I have followed my conscience and done what I thought was right. You may not agree with some tough decisions I have made, but I hope you can agree that I was willing to make the tough decisions. The decades ahead will bring more hard choices for our country, and there are some guiding principles that should shape our course.
While our nation is safer than it was seven years ago, the gravest threat to our people remains another terrorist attack. Our enemies are patient and determined to strike again.
America did nothing to seek or deserve this conflict. But we have been given solemn responsibilities, and we must meet them. We must resist complacency. We must keep our resolve. And we must never let down our guard.
At the same time, we just continue to engage the world with confidence and clear purpose. In the face of threats from abroad, it can be tempting to seek comfort by turning inward. But we must reject isolationism and its companion, protectionism.
Retreating behind our borders would only invite danger. In the 21st century, security and prosperity at home depend on the expansion of liberty abroad. If America does not lead the cause of freedom, that cause will not be led.
As we address these challenges, and others we cannot foresee tonight, America must maintain our moral clarity.
I have often spoken to you about good and evil, and this has made some uncomfortable. But good and evil are present in this world and between the two, there can be no compromise. Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere.
Freeing people from oppression and despair is eternally right. This nation must continue to speak out for justice and truth. We must always be willing to act in their defense and to advance the cause of peace.
President Thomas Jefferson once wrote, "I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past." As I leave the house he occupied two centuries ago, I share that optimism...We have faced danger and trial, and there is more ahead.
But with the courage of our people and confidence in our ideals, this great nation will never tire, never falter and never fail.
It has been the privilege of a lifetime to serve as your president. There have been good days and tough days. But every day, I have been inspired by the greatness of our country and uplifted by the goodness of our people.
I have been blessed to represent this nation we love. And I will always be honored to carry a title that means more to me than any Other -- citizen of the United States of America.
And so, my fellow Americans, for the final time, good night. May God bless this house and our next president. And may God bless you and our wonderful country...

The man has made some mistakes, but give him some credit. He faced one of the worst attacks on our own soil ever, and while some of you (Ryan) think he had a hand in that, you have to admit that he handled it well. And not only did he handle it with empathy and grace, he kept us safe from more. Over seven years later, we have yet to face another attack. He appointed one of the best Supreme Court justices in our history, after he was faced with the challenge of replacing the best Supreme Court justice in history, Sandra Day O'Connor. He held his head high and stuck to his principles despite criticism. He reached across party lines and effectively dealt with a Congress in the hands of his opposition. And here's a man who actually, legitimately cares about America as a whole, not just about being president (coughobamacough). I think history will eventually be good to Bush, and I think we're in for a rough four years.

I'm surrounded by idiots.

One in particular...

When stating our political beliefs in Law and the Courts:
"I'm a socialist/anarchist/monarchist."
When stating our judicial philosophies:
"I believe in both living document and original intent."

Which makes you...

Very, very wrong. Number one, you cannot be an anarchist AND a monarchist. That just doesn't work. Number two, you cannot believe in original intent AND living document. The two are inherently opposite, and believing strictly in both of them is completely contradictory. Here's an idea: PICK ONE. Or say you believe in balancing. You can do that-you just cannot believe in both.

God. Also, this kid looks like a turtle, has moobs, and wears the same shirt every day. This makes him subject to a lot of side glances and muffled laughter between me and Jeremy. Also, I don't feel bad writing a nasty blog about the fact that Turtle Moobs is a raging idiot and a raging bag of douche because he used to make me cry in International Relations. Constantly. Weekly, even.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Too much hotness.


Way too much. I mean, Hunter Parrish, Daniel Radcliffe, and Blake Daniel in one picture? Holy orgasms, Batman. And how freaking adorable is Alexandra Socha? I want her clothes, for one thing (though this doesn't count, as it is her Wendla costume), and for another thing, she may be the cutest person ever. And, she's from NH. Gerard...well, I find him to be kind of annoying, so we can ignore him. I'm excited to see you all (well, not DR) on Sunday. I'm sad it will be the last time (unless the tour rumors re: Gerard are true).

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Why do you girls go around Elmira taking pictures like Asian tourists?

Mainly because we're awesome, Wasif.




Epic sushi and ice cream night with the Khan brothers.



Relay, circa 4am. I spy with my little eye...two very tired kids.

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Big Night

Relay is tonight. We all know why I do this. It really doesn't need expressing. But, not everyone knows exactly why I relay, and I think my story is one that needs to be told. As Ceremonies Chair, it fell on me to introduce the Luminaria ceremony, and I asked Sheila, our advisor, if I could include personal remarks about what this event means to me, and she said absolutely.

I've spent the last week struggling with my speech. I could have easily introduced the ceremony without any problems. Articulating how I feel about my mom's death (besides the obvious, like it sucked)? Completely different. It's been 18 years. I've never put it in words, and it's not for lack of trying. I spent high school trying to write essays about the impact that it had on me, and I couldn't do it. We all know I usually just use song lyrics to express really intense emotions (see 12/20 entry). I sat at my computer (!...sorry, still excited about it) until 1 am, trying not to cry as I looked at the three sentences I had written and talking to Kayleigh, Jeremy (via facebook), and Emily (via AIM) trying to see if they could help. Finally, I put up an away message and went to bed (after all, I have to be up until 10am). I got up this morning, and it came to me.

Since my 12/20 blog was lackluster, here's the speech...
Hello everyone. On behalf of the entire Ceremonies committee, I would like to welcome you to the Luminaria ceremony. Around the track, you will see a number of luminarias. Each one represents a person who has battled cancer, and some represent those who did not win their battles. This ceremony provides an opportunity to honor those who have fought cancer, and those we’ve lost.

For me, this ceremony has always been the most important part of Relay. On December 20th, 1990, my mother lost her long battle with breast cancer. I was only three years old, so I really don’t know or remember much about her illness or even her death. I do know, however, how much her death impacted my life and the person I am now. I have spent almost my whole life motherless, and it haunts me even now, eighteen years later. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think of her and miss her. At my mother’s funeral, I said to my family “why is Mommy in that box?” It was a question that has plagued me for my entire life, and I have spent the last eighteen years searching for the answer. As a child, and even sometimes as an adult, I had a hard time understanding why something as terrible as the death of my mother had to happen to me and my family. I always felt different from my peers. I was the kid who had to have her father bring her to mother/daughter events at the school, the kid that used to cry at school on the Friday before Mother’s Day every year because I didn’t have a mother to make a card for, and now I’m the girl who is quieter than usual on Mother’s Day while everyone else calls home. I miss her every day, but some days are worse than others. When I was growing up, I missed her for my first days of school, my first sleepover, my proms, graduations, my first relationship and breakup, and the process of applying to and choosing a college. I wish she was here now as I find my way through the beginning of my adult life, and I know that will miss her as my life continues and progresses. But really, the biggest effect of my mother’s death has been the feeling that something is missing. I’m lucky in the sense that I grew up with an incredibly supportive older sister and grandmother who did their best to step into my mother's shoes, and I'm so thankful for that, but no one can fill the void that my mother left behind. I relay so that in the future, no little kid has to go through what I’ve been through. One result of my mother’s death is the drive I feel to battle this disease until it is eliminated.

As you walk the track tonight, please remain quiet while you look around at the luminarias you see. Reflect on those who have been lost, and those who won their battles, and don’t lose sight of the progress we've made, and the hope that one day, we won’t have worry about losing our friends, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, sisters, brothers, fathers, and mothers to this disease. Thank you.

Now, let's hope I can get through it without puking or crying. I'm actually crying now as I edit it, so maybe I can get it out and sensitize myself to it before 10 o'clock tonight.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Strategery

I'm writing this down here, because I'll forget it before February, and I'll lose it if I write it anywhere else.

I have the most kickass topic for my Research Methods paper:
Has China's economic growth led to an increase in human rights for Chinese citizens?

Bitches.

I'm going to own this. Especially since I think I can quantify both of those things, economic growth by measuring GDP, humans rights through Freedom House data. And all of that is readily available.