Oh boy.

So, first of all, I hate my US Political Parties professor. I'm sure I've made this clear before, but really, he sucks. First of all, he gives us absolutely no schedule of assignments. I haven't dealt with that since high school, and it makes getting ahead, which I've been trying to do, hard. He ended class once and didn't tell us what to do for the following week, and then got mad that no one read. Last week, he said "read chapter 5." Okay. Done. Read it. Twice. Took notes. Felt prepared for class. Participated. All of that. So he discusses Chapter 5 for all of half an hour, and then moves on to Chapter 6. You know, the one we weren't told to read. It's so annoying. How about organization? No? Not necessary? Garbage.

Rant number two.
He continuously calls the female author of the book "he." Not to sound like an uber feminist, but please don't assume that women can't be adept political scientists. It's infuriating, and I'm also pretty sure the fact that I am one of the few females in the class is the reason that he rarely calls on me, even when I'm waving my hand around in the air like an idiot. But if there's a guy who CLEARLY raises his hand after me, he still gets called on first. It makes me mad. Also, anyone who finds me a man named "Marjorie" wins $1000.

Rant number three.
Busy work, really? Isn't this a graduate class?

Rant number four.
Um. Thanks for just completely regurgitating the text book to us. I'm pretty sure it's totally unnecessary for me to come to class, ever. He literally sits at the front of the room and takes us through the book page by page. I have no clue why I bother reading. I guess I figure I'll get brownie points if I answer the questions without having my text open in front of me, like everyone else. Not that that matters. He doesn't call on me.

Rant number five.
Thanks for telling us the breakdown of our grades. Oh wait, you didn't. I have no clue how much anything is worth.

Rant number six, and the big one.
For next week, we have a 2-3 page paper due. The topic: how has partisan politics framed the healthcare debate? What is your opinion on the issue? Great. That puts me in a really bad position. I think you can all guess my position on health care reform. However, my professor has also made his completely clear, and he doesn't leave much room for dissenting opinions. For instance, today he was complaining that the author of the book claimed that party activists tend to have more extreme views than the average American voter. He was like "I don't agree with that." I said "well, I do. I think that people with more moderate views don't affiliate with parties, or if they do, it's a weaker affiliation, and so they're a lot less likely to want to devote their time and resources to working with a political party. The bulk of the American electorate is relatively independent and moderate, therefore, party activists tend to come from the farther reaches." And he was pretty much like "no. I still don't think party activists have extreme views." And I said "I don't think SHE is necessarily claiming that their views are extreme, just that they're more extreme than the average American, meaning party activists tend to be either more liberal or more conservative." And again, he was pretty much like "no." And other people in the class were backing me up, and he still kept shooting us down. There's no room for dissenting opinions whatsoever. So the question is, do I sell out my views and write the paper that he wants me to write, or do I stick to my convictions and get a lesser grade?

I've never been in this position before. Dr. Twombly always made sure we knew that we'd be graded poorly for bad arguments, not for dissenting opinions. And obviously my grades weren't affected by my political beliefs.

Thankfully, I can argue both side of any issue, so I know I could write a paper defending health care reform and it would be well-informed and well written, but do I actually want to do that? If I knew how much this paper was worth, it would be easier to make that decision, but apparently that's not information I'm privy to.

Ughhh. I'm pretty sure I could teach this class better than him. And in seven years, I will.

I'm alive!!!

I've been kind of MIA. Sorry. Last weekend was a long weekend, but I spent catching up on sleep from the epic Bruce week and trying to get ahead on some homework.

I made beef stew for dinner the other night in my new crock pot. It was fantastic! I have a feeling that thing will be a lifesaver this year. I leave for class at 5:30, so I don't really have time to cook dinner, unless I want to eat early, which I don't. But I made the beef stew at 12, and it was ready for me when I got home at 8. Perfection. I'm trying to find a chicken curry recipe, but I don't think that'll work out. Some of them have all sorts of funky ingredients (I mean, mango chutney? What the hell?). But at least my intentions were good. I guess I'm just craving curry today.

Last night I went out to Brooklyn Bowl in Williamsburg to see Jesse Malin and The Gaslight Anthem. Two of my favorites. But as someone on Bruce Springsteen's message board who was also there last night said, "you know you've been to too many Bruce shows when you're surprised that a mosh pit breaks out." Moshing isn't really my style, and it was unavoidable from my stellar elbows-on-the-stage spot, so I got pushed around a little bit, but I pushed back and stood my ground. And the show was great. They're amazing.

Took this picture of my future husband Brian Fallon. I'm in love.

I love New York.

When I'm walking around the city, mostly in the Times Square area, I get so annoyed at the damn asshats who:
a.) don't know the concept of walking with purpose.
b.) don't know the concept of pulling over to the side to take pictures or to check maps.
c.) don't understand that you don't have to wait for the light to change to cross the road. There's no cars coming...GO.
d.) the crosswalk isn't the place to stop and chat.
e.) don't understand that there's not enough room on the sidewalk for you and your twenty five friends to walk together. Two by two, please.

But then I remember how lucky I am. I'm living in the greatest city in the world, and while the tourists are annoying, I'm living in a place that attracts millions of tourists from all over the world every year, and I think that's pretty awesome. And I also remember that I did used to be one of them. Once upon a time, there was an 18 year old girl in a red newsboy cap who came down for a day and fell in love. I like to think that I did understand pedestrian traffic laws better than some of the tourists I see here and didn't get on the nerve of the locals too much.

Anyway, I guess the moral of the story is that I love living here. And there are a lot of reasons. The theater, the pace, the stores, the smells (mostly), the noise, the life, the people...Mostly the people.

So here's to you, woman who said to me "where is the Upper East Side?" Uptown. To the east.

And here's to you, couple on the 2 train at 4am Sunday morning. I question why you had your three children, all of whom were under the age of 8, and one of whom was still in a baby stroller, on the subway at that time of night/morning. But mostly, I question why, in the basket compartment on your stroller, there were about six empty cans of Coors Light. Gotta love New York. I'm glad you folks had a good night.

And here's to you, massive African-American lady on the bus tonight, singing along to your iPod so loudly that I could hear you over mine. Your dance moves were stellar, especially the one where you would open up your hands every time the singer said "why," and the one where you would point to yourself ever time he said "you." I'm glad you're pursuing your dream of singing and dancing in front of an audience.

And here's to you, Naked Cowboy, for having the balls (or lack thereof) to stand out there in the forty degree wind tunnel that Times Square was tonight. Sorry to all of the tourists who were taking your picture. I think I walked through about 25 of them. They were in my way. I was in a hurry.

And here's to you, "I Heart New York" tee shirt selling people on the corner of 45th and Broadway, claiming that the "sale is only for today!" I've heard that a lot. Excellent marketing ploy. The tourists won't know. They're leaving. I see what you did there.

God, I love it here.

Why I love Bruce shows, and five seconds of fame.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPh16BayKTg

If you look closely at the screen around 3:15-3:20, you might see someone you know.

Great song live. The guy he pulled onstage was two rows in front of me, and I had sat near him on the bus on the way there last week. Nice guy. One of the first people to tell me to skip my class on Thursday, not that it mattered anyway.

Sigh. I'm in love with Bruce.

GA ticket: lots of money.
Bus fare: Not a lot of money.
Waiting in line all day: costly and exhausting.
Spot at the back of the pit, against the rail: If I could pay to be tall, I would.
Being essentially bent over the rail with your hand in the air and four grown men squishing you and having your head in someone's armpit while Bruce Springsteen runs about seven inches away from you while singing Hungry Heart, and seeing everyone else along the rail in the same position: priceless.

Also, quote of the night from the men who thought I was 19 until I corrected them: "what, do you have a fake ID from Idaho or New Hampshire or something?" I wasn't even drinking. They were talking about how they got carded (they were in their 50s) and how amazing it was, and then they were like "oh, I bet she gets carded all of the time." And I said yes, and they said "are you even old enough to drink?" So I said "yeah, I'm 22." Which led to "you don't look it at all. I would have guessed 18 or 19. What, do you have a fake ID from Idaho or NH or something?" Funny you should say that...

Other quote of the night, from the same men: "wow, a 22 year old who is a Republican AND likes Bruce Springsteen? You're like a breath of fresh air for us! It's nice to see that."

Always love the friends I make at these shows. One in particular...sigh.

yessssssssss

I just ROCKED my first two grad school presentations. One of my professors came up to me after class to tell me what a good job I did.

That's right.

Also, does being obsessed with apocalyptic/end of days theory and addicted to shows like The Nostradamus Effect make me weird? Because I think that might make me weird.

"You are very fucking special."

Kiril's last performance was hard. I started crying before curtain, when Stephen Daldry, the director, came on stage and gave a speech about how it was Kiril's last performance, how much he'll be missed, and how he is one of the most talented young dancers in the world. I think unless you're a follower of the Broadway scene, it's hard to understand what a big deal Kiril's last performance was. He, along with David Alvarez and Trent, won the Tony for that role, and that's a really big deal. He's the first of the three original Billys, and the first Tony winner, to leave the show. These three kids have been working on this show for about three years, and that's a big deal. There was press there last night. I'm lucky I got a ticket, and I'm so glad that I sat as close as I did. It was worth it.

Anyway, Kiril came on to massive entrance applause, and his part during the opening song received a great deal of applause as well. Since there's a quick transition from that part back to the ensemble, there's not usually applause there, and I was happy to see such a great amount of support for him. I saw tears on his cheeks then, and I knew it would be a rough night. He was fantastic during the boxing scene, and his "put-off" dance went a lot longer than it usually does, and was particularly funny. He got a ton of applause during Solidarity when Billy achieves attitude promenade, and he seemed genuinely in awe of the amount of support in the theater. I had a particularly hard time with Solidarity, because Kiril was my first Billy, and Solidarity is the scene that made me fall in love with the show. He put his heart and soul into "Expressing Yourself," and during Billy and Michael's adlibbed part, Keean yelled out "it's your last one, better make it count!" And Kiril goes "I know, I'm trying to." And it broke my heart. During The Letter, Kiril was an absolute disaster, as was the audience, and as was Haydn Gwynne, who plays Mrs. Wilkinson. I knew that would be a tough scene, what with lines like "in everything you do, always be yourself," and "know that I will always be proud to have known you." The Letter is a goodbye, and last night, it really was. He put a ton of energy into Born to Boogie, even though he was still crying from The Letter, and that scene was a joy to watch. He and Haydn (who left the show today), seemed on the verge of both laughter and tears.

I had to pull myself together during intermission, and this girl I know a little bit came up to me and asked if I was okay, haha. During intermission, I realized I was sitting a few seats down from Kiril's mom, which was pretty cool. I recognized her both from press videos and when I've seen her at the stage door. I grabbed some napkins from the bar, because I knew I'd be needing them. I could see Kiril crying during "Deep Into the Ground." Swan Lake was gorgeous, but it always is with him, and he got A TON of applause after. I cried some more, and then it was time for Electricity, and I knew that would be the hardest part of the night. First of all, it's Billy's big moment, but second, I know that it's his favorite scene to perform, and he's brilliant at it. I could tell he was struggling with singing, and it got to the point where he was kind of just saying the words on beat, and I was sobbing. The dancing was fantastic, especially his no-hands flip, which I've never seen before, and Gregory Jbara, who plays Billy's dad, was in tears, as was 90% of the audience. The guy next to me handed me a tissue. After, the entire audience was on their feet clapping, and Kiril seemed genuinely touched by it. He looked out at the audience with this massive smile (and tears in his eyes), and it was a really beautiful, touching moment. He was freaking adorable when he gets his letter from the ballet school and informs his family, and Greg was funny in that scene as well. Once We Were Kings was hard to watch as Billy says goodbye to his town and his father, and The Letter (Reprise) was almost impossible. I thought I was going to have to leave. And of course, "see ya, Keean," "see ya, Kiril" at the end was a tearjerker as well. Curtain call was great, and he was obviously in tears. I put some pictures from Broadwayworld.com in, because I think they sum up the night.

The last time I'll see the board like this :( And yes, that says Keean Johnson.

Finish!

Kiril and my second favorite Matthew at curtain call.

Greg Jbara calling Kiril's family up on stage.

Heartbreaking.

And the stage door. Once again, a shitty picture of me. Oh well. The crowd was INSANE, and I'm so thankful that I hauled ass out of the theater and got up front. It took him an hour to get through everyone. Trent was there as well, and he was a mess. Tommy Batchelor got injured during the show last week so he's been out, and David Alvarez has been on vacation, so it's been Trent and Kiril all week, and Trent looked exhausted. That's a physically demanding role to play. But Trent also looked sad. One of my favorite little moments that I caught though was when Trent said to Maria Connelly, the new Debbie, "did David Bologna give you something to give to me?" And she said yes and ran inside to get it, and came back out with it, and it was a framed picture of David and Trent, and it made me remember that I miss David Bologna. Kiril was quiet as usual, but incredibly gracious and warm as well, and he seemed genuinely appreciative of everyone. He said he's staying in New York. Yay.

Anyway, Kiril is my favorite Billy, as I'm sure you all know by now. He plays Billy with this loneliness and vulnerability that Trent and Tommy both lack (though I love their takes on the role as well), and I will really miss him. I'm hoping he comes back for the first anniversary performance on November 13th, which I already have my ticket to. They brought the three original Billys back to the London anniversary, so fingers crossed. I'm going to take a quasi-break from the show. I want to see it once more before the anniversary performance, but only because that would make the anniversary performance my 10th time seeing it, and I think that would be special. Then I'll take another month long break before Tommy Batchelor's last show on the 11th of December. And when Trent leaves, I hope to be there as well.

I have a crying headache.

I want to write about Kiril's last show. But I'm really depressed right now. I'll get it. But for now, let me say that it was on par with the closing performance of Spring Awakening in the competition for best night of theatre ever. I started crying before the first song began (the director came on and gave a nice little speech, and I was sitting a few seats down from his mom, and it made me sad), and I only stopped a few times. I was in the fourth row, and could see that he was crying through pretty much the entire performance, and it killed me. Someone sitting next to me handed me a tissue at one point. I saw this girl I know a little bit at intermission and she asked me if I was okay, haha. So I'm upset right now, but I'll get to it, because I actually have a lot to say.

Also, I totally made friends with the stage door guy tonight. I'm going to continue to make friends with him so he'll let me backstage at some point. I know he's done it before. In fact, I think he may have implied that he'd get me in tomorrow. I mentioned that I wanted to go to Haydn Gywnne's last performance tomorrow, but between Kiril'ls last and David Bologna's last, I thought my wallet needed a break. He laughed and was like "well, if you're in the area, stop by anyway. But shh." And I would. But I have a shitload of homework tomorrow and my apartment has been neglected all week.

Darkness on the Edge of Meadowlands

Got to the "swamps of Jersey" at about 1:05, got number 563 for the lottery, and chilled with this guy named Neill, who is from London but lives in Chile. He was super cool. They pulled number 360 for the lottery, which wasn't too bad. I ended up behind the second catwalk two people back, standing near three people I stood near at Hershey, ironically. I remember two of them, this couple, because they didn't seem into the show, and they weren't into it at Hershey either (well, that and they looked really familiar). Then this little boy was near me, and he was saying that he sang Waiting On A Sunny Day at Hershey, and I totally remembered that. He was a cutie. He's 12, and he's been to 9 Bruce shows. I was like "well, you've got me beat."

Bruce was fantastic as usual. Darkness on the Edge of Town in full was the most brilliant thing I've heard in my entire life. To quote someone on Backstreets who was complaining that the rest of the set was average, "this WAS NOT an average show. He played the entire Darkness Album. Umm HISTORIC. Give me a fucking break. Cry me a River and drown in it." It was a fantastic show, a good crowd, and a wonderful setlist.

He totally didn't play my sign. Loser. I'm optimistic about Friday though. Plus he played Thunder Road and I wasn't expecting that, so that kind of made up for it.

That's me with the orange.

I can't wait until Friday. I'm sad that it's Kiril's last night though.

Brrr.

Of course it's frigid today. This should be a lovely 10 hours outside.

Remember when?

I met one of my favorite actors of all time and forgot my camera? I remember that. It just happened.

My class got canceled today, ironically, given that it was Mountain Day at EC. I did homework for a good deal of the day, then at about 4 o'clock, I was like "hey, there are some plays that I've been wanting to see. It's a Thursday, seats don't sell as well, so discounts are usually higher than weekends. I'll go see what is on TKTS." So I got on the subway, and went into Times Square, and Oleanna had tickets for 50% off, so I thought that sounded perfect. Oleanna is about the relationship between a male professor and his female student. Some boundaries get crossed and accusations are made, and there's fallout from it. First of all, the play itself was brilliant. But second, the cast was great. Julia Stiles played the student, and Bill Pullman played the professor. I really respect both of them as actors and always have, and they did not disappoint. After the show, I needed a few minutes to collect my thoughts from it, and I'm always looking to learn, so I stayed for the talk back after, which was fascinating. It was interesting to hear other perspectives on the show, and I figured that with my opinion, I would be in the minority, but I so wasn't, and that was good.

I had no clue what the stage door situation would be like, but I happened to see it when I was walking out, and it wasn't busy at all, so I got in a space towards the end of the barricade, and Bill Pullman came out. First of all, let me just say that I adore Bill Pullman and have for as long as I can remember. I mean, he was just so freaking amazing in his few scenes in "A League Of Their Own" and I've loved him ever since. Plus, he was in Spaceballs. And Sleepless in Seattle. And While You Were Sleeping. And Indpendence Day. And Lake Placid. And a lot of movies that I love. And I'm sorry, but he's also attractive, and I had a crush on him when I was a little girl. So I was really excited to meet him. First of all, I think it's worth mentioning that I was the youngest person at the show and at the stage door by about 10 years. He comes out and gets to me, and just gives me this look like "you have no clue who I am and probably are only here for Julia Stiles." But then I said "thank you so much. I've been a fan of you since I was like, five." And he immediately perked up and turned into the nicest person ever. He laughed, and was like "oh really?" And I was like "yeah, you know, I went through this phase when I was little of watching A League Of Their Own" every day, and the scene where you come back and surprise Geena Davis in the hotel was always one of my favorites." And he laughed again, and asked me where I was from and all that. So amazing.

Of course, this turned me into an epic fangirl. I didn't actually realize how exciting it was to meet him until it had happened, and I literally had to take a few deep breaths to calm down after. And I had tears in my eyes by the time I got to the subway. I've never reacted like that to anyone (I mean, if it was Bruce, I'd turn into a blubbering mess), and I wasn't expecting myself to react like that at all. I don't know why it was like that. Maybe because it was such a good interaction? I don't know.

I'm bummed I forgot my camera. I had it in my hand before I left my apartment, but being the idiot that I am, I put it in a different purse than the one I was using. I'm super sad. But I'll probably try to see the show one more time (I wouldn't see it a bunch, but I'd see it again). I want to wait until it's cemented and not in previews anymore (this is the first week), as there were a few kinks that needed to be worked out. I think they have student rush. So maybe then I'll get a picture with him. But I have an autograph, so that's pretty cool.

Also, tomorrow...BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUCE. As you can imagine, I'm not excited at all. I hate Bruce Springsteen. This show will suck. I'll feel better once I'm there, haha. NJ Transit confuses me and I hope it goes smoothly. But since I'll be nice and close, I made a sign request (he collects them during the show and plays two or three)!
I call this "insurance that I won't do well in the pit lottery," and also "why I'm not an artist." It's such a connundrum. If I carry it, I'll end up in the back of the pit, with no chance in hell of him seeing it. If I don't, I'll be up front. But I figure I have three chances in the next month, so we'll try it.

Tomorrow Bruce is playing the album "Darkness on the Edge of Town" in its entirity. That will be great. I love that album, plus it means I'll definitely hear "Racing in the Street." One of my favorites. I feel like it will be kind of low energy though. There's a lot of slower songs on that disc. But that's okay. It will be fantastic, and I can't wait.

You know I'll be reporting back on Saturday morning in my post concert haze. Then I'll be all emotional because Kiril is leaving Billy Elliot Sunday night, and I'm bummed. So get excited for both of those posts, haha.