Okay, so nothing's changed-heard that before.

I really do hate everything, at least for now. I hate you for leading me on. I hate myself more for falling for it. I hate the fact that I have to see you at least three times a week, and I hate the fact that I have to talk to you, because really I would like to just ignore this whole situation entirely, but seeing you everywhere isn't going to help. And I know you're going to act completely normal, because whenever anything remotely different happens between us, you always do the next day. As long as she isn't with you, I might be okay.

I just can't look, it's killing me.

I hate the fact that this morning, I had every intention of waking up and making myself look cute. That failed. I managed to get up and get into the shower, which is an accomplishment, but now I'm sitting here on my computer in a towel with dripping hair, blogging about how much you're making me hate absolutely everything, including school in general right now. The silver lining? Graduation never looked so good. There are cute boys in NYC. I met one this weekend. In my drunken haze, he made me forget about you for precisely 5 minutes.

I had every intention of keeping my chin up today and not acting defeated. I don't think that will happen, either. I have a feeling it's one of those hiding in my hooded sweatshirt type of days. I feel physically sick, and if I didn't respect my professors, I would blow off class this morning. Did I mention I slept for three hours?

"By the time you finally wake up, I'll be lying on some trash heap."
Alright, that was a little too dramatic, but SA has been on my mind all week (still don't want to go there). But by the time you finally wake up, I'll have graduated and will be long gone. But you know what? I'll be okay, and it's your loss. You're not really my type, anyway.

Blake Daniel, thanks for making your myspace public and friending your fans. I hate myspace, but once I have the chance to edit my profile a little bit, we are going to be friends. I see you're single and straight-that's a step up from this one. Much better than ambiguous and taken, that's for sure.

Fail. Naptime in four hours.

Why can't something work out for me, for once in my life?

I mean, it's not like we haven't been going through this for four years. Seriously.

Destined for spinsterdom.