Oh, Bama...

"I ask this Congress to send me the bipartisan legislation that bears the name of Senator Orrin Hatch as well as an American who has never stopped asking what he can do for his country - Senator Edward Kennedy."
Hahahahahaha. Thanks for making my day. Ted Kennedy, really? Yeah, he's sure done a lot for our country...

"We must also be vigilant in upholding the values our troops defend."
This is true. However, since you have yet to visit them, do you really know what these values are?

"I believe the nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it."
Okay, but we didn't invent the automobile. Karl Benz invented the automobile. He was German, ja? Look, a gaffe! Now let me look around at major news outlets on the internet and see if I can find anything about that...hmm, still looking...nope. Oh, big shocker. If that was Bush who said that, CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times, etc would all be like "OMG GUYS!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!! DUBYA TOTES THINKS DAT AMURICANS INVENTED THE AUTOMOBILE!!!!!1111111!!!!! WUT AN IDIOT!!! HE TOTES ONLY WENT 2 YALE BECUZ HIS DADDY HAZ MONIES!!!!!!!11111111!11!!!!!!!!!!!

And I am so sick of all of the FDR comparisons. "OMG LAST NITE WUZ LIEK A FIRESIDE CHAT!!!11!!1 OBAMA IZ DA BEST PRESIDENT SENSE FDR!" Okay, remember that time FDR wasn't actually a good president? No, you don't? You weren't taught that in schools? Let's have a look...

• FDR promised voters he would balance the budget, then proceeded to spend more than any other president before him, during the country's worst economic crisis, ever.
• Pearl Harbor happened either as a result of his complete and utter incompetence or his willingnes to sacrifice countless American lives for political expediency.
• The New Deal? Oh yeah, that did nothing to fix the economy. In fact, unemployment was at its lowest in the late 30's, years after the New Deal programs had been implemented. WWII, not the New Deal, ended the Great Depression.
• Expanded the powers of the presidency to dictatorial proportions. His court-packing scheme was deplorable, at best. His willingness to violate the term limit precedent, despite the fact that his health was faltering? Terrible.

By the way, my abs are already killing me from Pilates yesterday.